So I Wait

I watched the sun as it slowly slipped from the edge of the earth, before plunging the world into darkness.

I sat outside, my face upturned as I waited for dawn to break.

Would it ever break?

Would the bright rays of the sun paint the horizon in all its kaleidoscope of colors?

Would it spread its warm golden rays across the blue of the sky, chasing away the tints of black and bidding the stars to return to their shimmery abode?

My skin tingles with the memory of the warm sun, its radiance soothing to my skin, filling me with a renewed hope and will to trudge on.

The will to seek You even in the midst of pain, hurt and uncertainty.

As I wait, I watch the night shift in colors that sparkle with the stars that sing a song to lull most to sleep. I refuse to sleep; the deep echoes that fill my heart reminding me of what I seek, God.

I clutch my blanket tighter around me and sink deeper into my seat, the warm cup in my hands letting warm swirls of vapor play in the atmosphere. It catches my eye and I am reminded of the warmth of my loving God; the warmth of the love that He so easily bestows on me, even when I least deserve it.

My heart warms.

A tear drops from my eye, the candlelight reflecting off of it, calling attention to it. The tear serves as a sign; a sign of a broken heart that God puts back together as the world continues to pull against it.

The world pulls and my heart breaks.

The world pushes and my heart aches.

Yet the Lord heals until my heart is remade.

So, I refuse to dry the tear off my face as it continues to run down my cheek, to help remind me of the wholeness that I seek.

With a tear and a crooked smile playing at my lips, I turn my eyes up to heaven again.

I wait. I wait for the dawn to break and send a cascading ray of colors seeping into my skin and through my soul. I wait for the Son of God to once again color the deepest part of my soul, chase away the cold and set me ablaze again. I wait for His words that breathe life to make me whole again.

So, I wait.

I wait for the dawn to break.